ellenspictures

Category: life stories

  • the blue-tint rinse

    the blue-tint rinse

    Just yesterday, when we were all alive, four generations of women, all related

    My grandmother – we all called her “Boo” (not in the above picture) – was one of those quintessential dignified little old ladies whose concept of appearance was rooted in looking presentable whenever she needed to look presentable. She had a process for doing everything and this included making sure that her hair was colored the “right” color of gray. Gray was okay, but it couldn’t be yellow, it had to have the “bluish” cast to it.

    Achieving this required the “blue-tint rinse”, as it was explained to me by my mother who answered my curious question: “What’s that on the pillow case – why is it dark-ish?” No doubt my mom was thinking “@#%^!! I have now a pillow case that has to be bleached or it’s ruined!!” but to me she said, “Oh, that’s probably from Boo’s hair dye – just coming off on the pillow case.” Hmmmm…? Little me didn’t really know much about hair dye at that time… Neither Mom or my other grandmother did “hair dye”. Both had dark-ish based hair color, and so they grayed naturally – kind of into a charcoal set of tones. Boo, however, had the thinnish, light brown hair color, originally, that ended up being the gray of the “yellow variety” – not what she desired – hence the need for the “blue tint rinse”.

    As a little kid I saw groups of little old ladies at lunch when I was with my grandmother (not Boo), and at times I remember thinking about the varied hues of their gray hair – some kind of went “pink”, some “lilac”, some “blue”, and some stayed yellow if they didn’t have the gift of hair that my grandmother had – the lovely charcoal, wiry, naturally highlighted gray hair…

    Here I am, and I haven’t seen my natural hair color in almost 30 years! Crazy as it is, I began to play with hair color when I was in my late 30’s. It was required because I had to do something to feel better during a reinvention period when I had discovered that I had a cheating husband. That is another story for a different day.

    But for now, I try to go with it and not stand out too much. I’ve tried going lighter, but I feel like I’m fading. One day I will gently get into my natural state, but I’m not ready yet. My grandson recently told me that I couldn’t be a grandmother because I wasn’t old. I’ll keep that remark. Out of the mouths of babes…

  • Another one bites the dust… Maybe we really weren’t friends…

    Another one bites the dust… Maybe we really weren’t friends…

    In my life, friends have come and gone – some really have gone, but that’s another subject for another day…

    When you look back on your life, you reflect on your actions, the setting, and mostly, the people, at least I do that. Who was there…what we did…the memorable conversation… And what? It ended, we moved on or we maybe still have some semblance of a relationship. We can think back and go, “Oh, that was really a great time..” Sometimes we forget about most of the bad parts of our episodes in life, thinking that things were hunky-dory, then someone else who was there brings up that thing that wasn’t so hunky-dory – and so it goes – everyone has their own perspectives.

    And then, there are the aspects of aging and the memories (the old noggin hard drive is getting packed with them) – and the memory capabilities – apparently, from about 40, it goes downhill from there – yet many people have very good capabilities of retention of certain memories, and zilch for others – selective…

    Then there’s the replay that we cannot seem to control. Over and over it plays, keeping us up at night when the sleep robbers are most active…

    When I think of a twenty-plus year relationship, and then suddenly you realize that it wasn’t what you thought it was, it’s that Winnie-the-Pooh quote:

    ” When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

    It’s how it is when this happens… What your premise was, is not what the other person’s premise is and suddenly, you find out in a situation whereby you go, “Wow. Really?” Then you must process that, come to grips with it, like anything else, it’s a “change management” process that your mind must go through – your emotions included – to adjust. Here we go again.

    Then, there’s the ego threat – am I right, am I wrong, is it “no-fault”? Is there any peace? Yes. There might be some peace, but you have to work for it.

    Existential Thought of the Day: “If I just sit here and be quiet, will anyone call? Will anyone write? Will I just eventually disappear?”

  • We could ask the rest of the world to ignore the man…the trouble is…it doesn’t work that way.

    We could ask the rest of the world to ignore the man…the trouble is…it doesn’t work that way.

    What was it that Mahatma Gandhi said?

    “Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible. But in the end, they always fall. Always.”

    Mahatma Gandhi, Gandhi: An autobiography

    We have to keep doing what he says. Remember that. It’s just like a little kid that is kind of a mess… always getting into trouble… then, he grows up (or she), and he’s the one you hear about who is always wrecking the cars, or doing really impulsive stupid things – barely escaping with his or her life every time.

    Then, it may be that they have something that happens that is a wake-up call – they get back onto some sort of sensible track. But, then, sometimes, they don’t. They just keep doing things that everyone, when they hear about it, they are not surprised. They just roll their eyes and go, “OK, that’s “so in so” – that’s just how he is…”

    Well, somehow the so-in-so managed to make it into being the so-called leader of the land here. OOPS. Now, he is like a bull in a China closet. Or maybe he is like someone from the Twilight Zone who everyone has to walk around on eggshells – just so he doesn’t get upset and hurt people. Its like that.

    He and his gang of dark soldiers are now hurting people – innocent people. Children. People who are looking to get away from horrible circumstances – where once upon a time, it was “Give me your tired, your poor…yearning to be free…” and we representing liberty and freedom. Not that long ago, this was how it was… and it was for a long time back – but under the covers, people haven’t really felt that way.

    No, they actually have lied about how they felt. They actually professed themselves to be Christians, and do all of what they do in the name of Christ . Oh my. I can’t believe some of the twisted things that people say – and think – that this guy is some sort of prophet? Hello? What have they been smoking? Oh. My. God… Help us all.

    Let’s just say that this is not what I ever expected. My parents and grandparents would be in total shock over this. I’m certain of it.