ellenspictures

Category: stuff we never imagined

  • there’s a lot that goes into going crazy AKA losing one’s sensibilities…

    there’s a lot that goes into going crazy AKA losing one’s sensibilities…

    I just don’t get it. It certainly seems like the world is going bonkers right now. The whole planet. One thing leads to another… As predicted it seems. I’m not as sensitive as some, however…

    The Doomsday Clock. Nostradamus. The Book of Revelations. The Farmer’s Almanac? Well maybe not the Farmer’s Almanac… but certainly, enough people are doing crazy stuff as well as our ongoing experience with “the virus” (doesn’t that sound like it’s out of some dystopian movie?)… Finger pointing and blaming. Scarcity. High tensions. Saber rattling. High stress. Anxiety. Good grief, we can’t ask what’s next, because “what’s next” could be really much worse than what was before!

    Salvador Dali’s melting clocks always come to mind.

    The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali

    We’ve referred to the weather often on this site.

    Because if it isn’t hotter than hell, or what we imagine hell to be in terms of warmth, it’s either raining cats and dogs (sorry cats and dogs!), or snowing like it’s raining cats and dogs and burying everyone in snow, or flooding, and burying people, places and things in muddy silt which is worse than snow because floods pick up all kinds of “nasties” that later get deposited wherever as the water goes away, the mud and sand and literally “shit” stays behind in a toxic goo-like gluey stuff that gets hard and is hard as hell to dig out.

    Man oh man. Is there any good news?

    I would think that some of the Oscar winners are happy, but then there are always people that go, “oh, she shouldn’t have won that” or “him? why him?” or whatever… Debbie Downers.

    There is so much going on that is bizarre, none of it really funny – unless you think wild hog invasions could provide some sort of humor, or pythons coming north… Imagine – pythons getting into New York, then there’s another “hell freezes over event” – uh oh. Frozen snakes! At least they’re not on a plane!

    The worst is hearing of kidnappings, and the toddler playing with Daddy’s gun and shooting another toddler in the face, killing him (or her). A three year-old shoots a four year-old. What are these people thinking? They’re not thinking. That’s the trouble. Dumb, stupid, ignorant – pick one.

    More tragedy, more politicians deregulating guns, more after effects of deregulation…but, no – they are not truly “de-regulators”, they are regulating vaginas instead, or sexual preferences, or what kids can learn about history, or books related to certain subjects… It goes on.

    The cross-pollination of religion and politics. Our founders did not think that the two should mix. I think we know why they thought this.

    The people who have co-opted Christianity, taken it hostage, and are holding it for ransom… those who have created the “big friendly” mega-churches with the pastors who ride around in their Cadillac’s, Benz’s, or Rolls, or fly around on their own private jets… We pay for this with our tax dollars! Criminal!

    “Cowboy Church” where gunslingers come inside to worship. The most totally bizarre concept ever. Back in the day, there were… wait for it… missions and churches, and nobody called them anything but. What would they say now?

    Saying that they are “for the family”, when that is just a code-phrase – they are for THEIR family and that’s about it. The concept that they have in their heads of how they are “protecting life”, when the next moment, children are being slaughtered by crazed angry usually guys with military-grade weapons who can mow down multiple children and adults with them in less than five minutes. This is the complete hypocrisy of what these people who profess to be “conservative” believe. I think that they are master-manipulators, con artists, and snake oil salesmen…

    There are a great number of “good” Christians but, they are not in your face or across the news pages… That is not a part of being Christian, the flashy headlines, the constant recruiting, especially the grooming… Just saying.

    Something extremely self-righteous and pious about the chronically angry white conservative evangelical males (especially), and holier than though stuffed up Botox faced females (that’s even more irritating)… just rubs me the wrong way. It’s hard not to say something like, “get out of my face”, or “you’re really full of shit”, or just to test them, something in another language that they cannot understand. That’s not Christian behavior. That’s the hard part. Turning the other cheek. Keeping your mouth shut and watching it all.

    I know what my grandmother and my mother would both have said – and it’s not nice.

    OK, I’m not nice, then. Not about this, for sure. I’d rather just sit it out, the whole regular church-going thing. Holidays, I love to celebrate. I find meaning in those. My church, yeah. But to visit one of “those” churches where the shiny people present themselves as “Christian” yet underneath they are racist controlling awful personalities? Nah. Just to go and walk around and feel awkward amongst people who you don’t know and likely won’t ever – nah, that’s okay. I’ll stay home and avoid the close contact, especially now.

    Somehow the lines are not as distinct so much, not supposed to be, rather, but then they are. My mom and grandma would not set foot in a Baptist Church, a Church of Christ, or any of the “evangelical” churches. Only occasionally would they set foot in another non-liturgical church – but, they would go to a synagogue or a Catholic church before they would go to sit with the Baptists. Something must have happened to them one time or another. Something did to me. The taste never wore off after that episode. In my adult life I’ve been in other churches just a few times to weddings or funerals. I just try to avoid the stress and the conflicts that these experiences produce. Plus, they always have their hands out for money. Uh, that would be a no.

    Mixing Religion into Politics is a Destructive Recipe

    Anyway, religion hasn’t helped much of anything in our world that I can see. Greed has just about destroyed it. And the former president of the USA and several other former presidents of other countries who emulate him (or maybe he them?) are the epitome of all of these horrid character traits rolled up into tangled balls of hot mess.

    Right now with these extreme conservative thinkers (that’s an oxymoron for sure), they are hell bent to push their religion on everyone through legislating their morals, yes and it is indeed a weird mix. The combination of “freedom” with the 2nd amendment for everyone having a gun at their disposal no matter what type and who you are, to the high restrictions on women’s ability to control their own health and whether they have a pregnancy or not – this isn’t freedom – nor is freedom to be who you want to be whether you were born that way or not.

    These yo-yo conservatives (hah! actually extremists) want only certain freedoms that they want and they are very picky but, for other people not so much. Their interpretation of Christianity is as warped as we’ve seen interpretations – as if the whole time they profess their religion they have fingers crossed behind their backs. As if we’re going back to the dark ages, rolling back the rock to a time when everyone had muskets and women wore long skirts with lots of underwear. It’s truly bizarre with every headline you read, to think that these people are in control of a lot of stuff.

    It makes one wonder: if there is a God, what is God thinking about all of this? Is God just waiting until there is a certain point or line or polygon and then…

    We don’t know. But, thinking about it makes my head hurt and some days… It makes me feel very crazy – like am I the only one that thinks that all of this is extremely nuts? Hmm? Clowns. A bunch of clowns. And guess what, they really just want the power to push people around. I just want a sign that says, “Our governor is an asshole bully” and be done with it. But, don’t get me started… this time. I’m done here…at least for today.

  • It’s a lot. Ch Ch Ch Changes. Wish we could talk to the dinosaurs, but that’s not going to happen.

    It’s a lot. Ch Ch Ch Changes. Wish we could talk to the dinosaurs, but that’s not going to happen.

    Life is change. How it differs from the rocks.

    Jefferson Airplane

    Although it appears that rocks don’t change, they actually do. That’s where they got it wrong. Rocks are constantly in a state of change, and depending on the type of rock, some are just being born – chemically, physically, seismically, but one fact remains – everything on this planet from it’s birth is still here and there will not be anything added (significant mass) until the planet vanishes. OK, so the occasional meteor or meteorite crashing into the planet might add a smidge of matter to Earth, it is just a smidge and kind of like when another vehicle rubs on your car and leaves some paint – except maybe a meteor crashing into the earth might have significant planet changing effects, which is a bit different than going for the buffing compound to remove the paint smudge from the red car that bumped your white car and left a smear of red.

    So, I digress.

    Change is constant. Some change is disturbing. Some change is happy. But nonetheless, change of any type shifts our attention, may seem to shift our personal axis, and may also make us change direction entirely. For every change there is some adjustment, no matter how tiny. This breaks, you fix it. You get a minor illness, you either wait and take temporary symptom relief medicine, or you go to the doctor and ask for something else based on the doctor’s exam. You get through whatever it is. If it is something major, then you have to make more major adjustments. Life goes on. Somehow.

    This week, in the space of a week, I have been reminded of lots of changes and the ongoing changes that are taking place continuously. A guy fishing in the park apparently, silently fell over and passed away within a few minutes and some kids found him and called 911 and for hours afterward, we witnessed that police investigate thoroughly even though it appears no foul play was involved. Not just one officer, but several were on the case. Nobody knew what happened until the next day. The rumor mill was going nuts. Always amazing that people without information will engage in conjecture to fill a void.

    One neighbor who prides herself for knowing everything walked by on her way to investigate. I told her she might not want to go that route, and she got all weird about that. “Why?”, she said. I told her that some kids found a guy who was unresponsive and the paramedics came and turns out he died. She said she already knew…wait for it…because her son is a doctor (she tells me this every time she sees me – for years)… even though he lives out of state, somehow her having a doctor son makes her an expert about everything. Sorry, I’m sounding catty, but truthfully, its unhelpful. She said she had to hurry to finish her walk before dark. I told her to have a nice walk. What else could I say?

    I couldn’t help thinking about the guy who didn’t come home for supper. People fish in that area all the time. Some bring families with them. Some fish alone. Most are not from the neighborhood, and possibly not from nearby. It’s a good fishing spot as we have heard. But, when things like this happen it’s sort of a leveling that when it’s your time, it’s your time. One would hope that the guy was loving his fishing and passed away doing what he loved. What could be better except remaining alive to continue doing what you love. It makes everyone else take a pause, however.

    I watch and family members are going through life changes. We go through life changes. Even though, day to day, sometimes it feels like it is the same as it ever was – but it isn’t. We definitely are reminded of changes when we witness major events that affect others, that is for sure.

    The ongoing war in Europe, the massive earthquakes in Turkey and Syria and the surrounding region, the horrid weather in the South Pacific region, many many lives affected in major ways – suddenly, or perhaps not so suddenly – but this points up that something is happening, and we should pay closer attention to the details…

    …Something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear. There’s a man with a gun over there, telling me I’ve got to beware. …Stop children, what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s going down…

    Buffalo Springfield
  • being uncomfortable vs. being a whiny baby – it’s a thin line

    being uncomfortable vs. being a whiny baby – it’s a thin line

    So, I recently had my nose structures repaired as referenced in a recent post. The fear ahead of the procedure far outweighed the actual procedure – I felt nothing due to good anesthetics – the old get the old relaxing medicine in the IV, then it’s lights out or you can’t remember anything that happened between X and Y – you just wake up. That’s for the majority of people into which I fell.

    Next, however, is the recovery – with at least three different documents, one of which the doctor covered, a couple were from the surgery nurses, but it’s more about sorting out the conflicts in them that is the big concern and also when to get concerned – and what discomforts weren’t mentioned and so forth. Breathing out of my mouth sucks. It has other side-effects, like my mouth drying out (yikes!) and a scratchy throat, and other unpleasant stuff. Then there’s a headache from sleeping in the wrong position. Then… Then… And it takes getting up to focus on what is the actual problem and in the dark, trying to sort out a solution, which is hard to do very well…

    All this of course happens in the middle of the night when trying to get some rest… so catching up on rest during the day ends up being what happens.

    And I am not typically a napper. I usually retire around “eleven-ish” – but am now yawning at 11-ish in the MORNING after having two cups of half-caf coffee… Sleepy. Can’t breathe out of my nose yet. Swelling. Goopy stuff up in there sloughing off – gross. At least it isn’t bloody anymore…

    So, am I whining? Should I be stoic? Who the heck can answer that question?

    I think my “course” is not as bad as some stories I have heard, but not a piece of cake, either. All I can say is that I will surely be glad to get to some sort of normal after this. I’m not good with not feeling okay, that’s for sure. Hoping that a week from now, I won’t be feeling this way. Better I hope. Making the decision to fix all that was wrong worth it. That’s the goal.

    In retrospect, when I think of it, when compared with what Rob went through in terms of discomfort and pain, this is nothing. So, I’m thinking that I am trending to the “whiny baby” category – and I need to remember that. When he was healing from surgeries, we all prayed for any improvement on any time scale because trending the other way had darker implications than we wanted to face.

    Maybe, I just need to be uncomfortable and suck it up. I am better than yesterday. I will keep telling myself that. Small steps.