Category: stuff we never imagined

  • the anxiety of our demise

    the anxiety of our demise

    When you think about it, we are set onto the path of our journeys to eventual demise from the moment we take our first breath, naive and innocent, launched off the launchpad of our mothers’ wombs.

    Most of us are pre-wired for wonder. As we rapidly mature at first, then as aging does, the process slows down, we divert into a number of directions of pulls or pushes into interesting positions, many in pursuit of figuring out the meaning of life before we get to the end.

    We have our families and our other people in various roles with whom we become acquainted along the way. Some enter, some exit, some return and disappear again, never to return. Life is rich with experiences, both positive and negative. Emotions and feelings are always present despite some people saying that they shouldn’t be. Give that up! We’re humans. Not rocks.

    We often can look back to understand where we’ve come and the relationships with people near and dear as well as the difficult ones. Friends, lovers, family and those with whom we have worked or had as neighbors – all are a part of the long acts of our lives – some scenes are shorter than others – some are dramatically ended, leaving us to contemplate in sometimes painful reflections.

    Some experiences are so traumatic that our spirits may reach close to a breaking point. The layer of spiritual existence integrates within us being in ranges from vacant to intense. Some of us experience these variations and others stay steady with faith to survive the tough roads that we sometimes face. Directions and decisions. Conundrums depending on the complexity.

    With age comes wisdom, but the paradox is that wisdom becomes relevant the older we get and the frustration is that we have difficulties with communicating with those younger who do not appreciate wisdom. Ageism is a bitter pill to swallow.

    Music and expression. Those are gateways between our past memories and the relevance of now. The hope lies with our present experience and past understanding of how our lives integrated with others, both human and animal, spiritually and physically, the connections and contacts at all levels.

    What gets us through the days and nights that are harder than others? It’s up to our own strengths to be able to rely on ourselves. We learn by being independent and confident in situations that are challenging. Figuring out how to understand when we need help and when we can solve it ourselves.

    The wildcards are health…and dangers from nefarious people seeking to steal or destroy just for the delight of terror and torture. These characters have been around since the dawn of man. Yet every day we are reminded more of these than of the good in humanity. Shameful as it is.

    With health is the genetic component we can’t necessarily change. Learn from your history and those who are genetically connected. It makes total sense and is the purpose of that capability within us. We can do our best to survive despite.

    To cope and alter, to modify and still enjoy life. That’s it. That’s the secret. Have wisdom. Enjoy while you’re here. We can’t know what’s next.

  • Go figure.  Seriously. Go figure.

    Go figure. Seriously. Go figure.

    Some days you wake up and something surprising happens. Something that makes you think. You aren’t sure but, as you noodle it around in your head, it begins to pick up steam. You say, “is it me?” Or you say, “deja vu, who?” Because, strangely enough you feel like you have done this before and you think, “why is this happening?” Is this a cosmic thing? Or is it just a suggestion. Innocent. I think about it, then it will fade into an “unimportant” pile…or not.

    By design? By intent? How things creep into your consciousness… Things that make you go “hmmm…”

  • Walks down memory lane can be exhausting.

    Walks down memory lane can be exhausting.

    Recently, I was asked to help with a part of a book that a friend is writing, and I agreed, of course. This required me to go back in the way-back time machine and research many things, such as old documents, and timelines, and emails – and such. For the most part, it re-activated memories of the past, which involved some of the most devastating impactful moments of my life. Of course, everyone has similar moments, if they are human, that is, but to everyone, those are very unique, even though they are “similar” in ways that enable psychologists and sociologists to “categorize” these emotions.

    At the conclusion of this, the email with all the information sent over, I’m here to tell you, I’m pretty knackered mentally and actually, I feel that way physically, too – so that’s the old indicator of something that causes some “depressive responses”. You got it. Grief revived. It’s not acute, but definitely, with everything else going on in the world, it kind of leaves me feeling flat, and out of gas.

    What to do? My answer will be to get out in the out of doors and do my usual endorphin generating stuff. I don’t know what else to do? Running girl stuff or aqua-girl stuff – doesn’t matter.

    I just had to file a report — for now.