Category: mental

  • the dimensions of time and trouble

    the dimensions of time and trouble

    Tactical.

    The alternate reality where Rob played, unconstrained...

    That’s a word that really deals with the immediate situation.  The “situation room”.  You have a problem, you deal with it, you make the problem go away (for now), you get sleep at night.  Fine.

    Dealing with long-term chronic illnesses – now that’s a concept where we apply both the tactical and the strategic.

    So much possibility...
    So much possibility…

    Remember.  None of us leave this planet alive.

    DSC00145We go somewhere else and leave the shell.  We all hope that the somewhere else is a good place, and not “the bad place”.  Sometimes we might rightly feel that some of our human comeuppance has been already held on the planet – if you listen to the news, you think “wow, this is really some weird shit…” – “what will they think of next?”

    Very complex.  Very confusing.  That’s why they call it “faith”.  You have to have it in order to survive through those rough patches.

    In the meantime, we deal with the strategic (eat healthy, get regular activity – not too much, not too little, just right…) and read all the research that comes out about what we’re doing – coffee is good, coffee is bad; one drink a day is good, drinking is bad; eggs and butter are bad, eggs and butter are good; carbs are bad, you need some carbs, just not some others… good grief…

    web over webIf you can’t remember your password, you have early onset Alzheimer’s — really?  Which password of the thousand that I have set, over the years, so that if/when someone hacks me, they won’t hack ALL of my accounts (naïve)…  I am supposed to remember those.  yeah.  right.

    Sometimes I am convinced that there is this great “anxiety generator” out there, making market for the yoga studios – there is something in it for everybody, right?  Everybody has to eat.  The people that don’t figure this out, and that they have to work to get food end up under the bridge living in cardboard boxes – and don’t call me paranoid, it just seems that there is always someone living under the bridge in cardboard boxes, no matter what we do to try to keep that from happening.

    Same thing with the jerks who “beat and cheat” – kids, wives, girlfriends, whatever – no matter how it is quelled on one hand, someone decides that they won’t support the quelling anymore, so it builds up.  Harper’s Bizarre.  Serial what-cha-ma-call-em’s…

    Oh, I digressed.

    Back to “long-term chronic diseases” — So you get pushed and pulled by media and news reports.  You try not to scare the shit out of yourself by reading too much of this “non” information on the net, complete with ads for drugs that look at what you’re lookin’ at and configure it “just for you” – lovely – and you may wonder, does it really matter after all?  Because, in the end of our time here on earth, we will either lose that battle with some sort of “long-term chronic disease” or else we will stroke out, fall down and go boom, have a coronary, be hit over the head, stabbed, or whatever happens that will take us out in an “acute incident or episode”.

    Whatever.  I guess I wonder why freak out?  Maybe its a wobbly.  We have not yet reached the Zen of our existence.  It’s maybe because we are not getting our way.  Its the anger because our dreams of what we thought we would be don’t turn out as we expected.  We have to go the other way, not the way we wanted to go, both figuratively and literally.

    We live in the clouds the rest of the time,  floating through life day by day, as time accelerates to the event horizon, the older you get, the less time you have, so you should appreciate when you wake up and take a breath every day – and make that coffee that smells and tastes so good – and go places, do things, kiss butterflies, chase dragonflies, love your loved ones, and of course, try not to leave a legend that is like “Ichabod Crane”, but rather one that everyone remembers fondly…

    Maybe it is just how we are, and we are realizing more about it every day.  I wish I could be back in time to interview my relatives who are now unreachable such that I could understand their thoughts, but I can’t right now.

    In the meantime, it’s live life to the fullest, get over the bumps in the road, ask for help moving the boulders and love your loved ones, telling them you love them as much as you can, as often as possible.

    It’s important for your family – and of course – for your history… and theirs, too.

  • what is me, and me is what?

    what is me, and me is what?

     

     

    conundrums of life. 

    it is all how things are perceived.  people to people.  actions. viewpoints.  statements.  good or bad.  beautiful or ugly.  smells.  sounds. sights. sense.

    Not keeping all my eggs in one basket!
    haven’t changed a bit.  should have been a warning, this…

    here’s the deal.

    one person might go forward with ideas that something is interesting and compelling.  it might have some artistic flair, not maybe conventional.  being one of those to give a graphic to make people think a bit – not have it be obvious, sometimes a bit wacky.  a bit humorous.  “hah!  made ya think!”  “things that make you go hmmmm…”  and all that.

    not usual.  trying to keep attention and not be boring.  but, it is more like trying to tell a compelling story.

    but.  and double but.

    the body language tells it all.  stiff upper lip.  snoozing.  a few laughs.  and as for the one delivering the messages.  sinking feelings of having really gone the wrong route.  realizing that not only was this damaging in a lot of dimensions, it encouraged the feelings of “old and in the way”.  not one of those feelings that makes you do much but be rather depressed.

    might be the last one by choice.  just like the half-marathon.  stop at number ?  lost count.  lots of them.  many years.  many audiences.  first time feeling this way.  its a sign.  not a good one.

    oh, and by the way, “good” and “bad” are words in my vocabulary.  to each one’s own…

    at the end of the day.  what matters is likely your connections with those that you love, and who love you back.  you hope that you can balance keeping your own self intact, because you presume that this is who they love, but not being a jerk, which if you are cranky or moody, sometimes is not avoidable, at least temporarily.  you also do not want to be a pushover.  but being annoyingly negative is not the most fun to be around.  i aspire to be human.  i aspire to try to not take myself so seriously that i am not me anymore.  i am a connector of people who appear to be kindred souls.

    but i do get overwhelmed with life from time to time, who doesn’t?  sometimes stuff happens in life that really sucks.  you just cannot predict when or where or to whom.

    in the meantime, trying to promote decency, peace on earth good will towards others and non-violence seems to be the right thing to do – but humor is essential to survival.  the minute i feel that humor has left the building, that i have to not be me anymore, and that my actions are pushed into insincerity, i go “stop”.  this is not me.

    this is me.  the one who can work to the bone, care deeply, and has a huge capacity for love of home, and planet, and of course God almighty.  after all, God is taking care of my family that i can’t touch or see anymore…  He knows what to do when we get lost and can’t find our maps to get back on the road.

    2009 Houston
    you try running 13.1 miles a bunch of times.  it changes your perspective on things.
  • it has been a long while, and there is a lot going on!

    it has been a long while, and there is a lot going on!

    Observing the culture, and everything that comes along with it…

    looming clouds
    looming clouds, dark skies, rain brings floods and flowers…

    I am entering into times when I am trying to maintain my stride, despite the shockers that come along once in awhile.  Aside from that, good things are coming up on the horizon, such as becoming a grandparent, which is kind of crazy in my mind (am I old enough to do this, yet?).  I guess I must be.

    We have spent time with a number of people lately, staying in our home.  We have been out speaking with people, doing business, trying to keep a positive attitude despite it being one of “those times” whereby some people are beginning to freak out.  Yup.  Remember the ’80’s?  I think that this is happening right now.  Hope it isn’t a long slide… 

    World politics is the culprit this time.  It would be nice if everyone would just get along.  Stupid wish.  They won’t.  It’s not their nature to do that.

    Friends from Canada up in Calgary are faced with it – it really is in their faces, as being somewhat isolated, and an “oil town”, when oil prices fall, so do they – and they fall hard when it happens… Seriously, from 100 to zero in sixty seconds… well maybe 90 seconds… but, where scarcity of people has been in place for awhile, you now will have a glut of people looking for jobs, or having to get the hell out of the country because no work, no visa, bye-bye. 

    Same with the U.S.  We heard of one instance yesterday where the people had seven days to get out and go home.  They have a house to sell.  Geeze, where is the reality when they make these regulations?  Talk about the stupidity of bureaucrats and lawmakers…  What are they thinking?  Partisan politics and prejudices – not really thinking that these people like living here and might be contributing to the economy in some other way…

    Probably this piece should be in my “today’s rant” section…  Ahem.

    Back to what is going on lately…

    I had an article accepted for publication this week.  This helps me focus on writing a bit more…  Need to get that book back in process…

    Press on.  Get the day underway.  One foot in front of the other!