ellenspictures

Category: opinion

  • it doesn’t matter – nobody cares about that – the tangled web

    it doesn’t matter – nobody cares about that – the tangled web

    “It doesn’t matter – nobody cares about that…”  Gosh what words. Oh the tangled web we weave… Apathy, one of the world’s most dangerous emotions…

    Here lately, it seems that what we have here is a failure to communicate.  I think that I am saying one thing but the receiver comes out with a response that indicates that what I said doesn’t seem to come through as what I said.  Uh-oh.  This worries me.  Saddens me actually, because when you read the news, the whole world seems to be flying out of control at its center.  The gravity seems to not be working so well anymore.

    I wonder…should I rapidly ditch all the people who purport ridiculous things – the haters out there – and yet… what they do, and how they act, make me feel hateful at times.  Ah.  This is it.  This is where I have to stop myself in my tracks and correct the course of my own behavior.

    Yup.  And this, my friends, is not taught to the wee ones much anymore.  The trend is to let people – even encourage people – to say what is on their minds to anyone, and if they don’t listen, well then, it’s okay to threaten, and hey, in their minds, it’s seeming okay to get a gun that will mow down as many people in as short a period of time as possible.  Where has the lesson on keeping yourself in check gone?  Who ripped that chapter out of the books?

    I know anger.  I know rage.  I understand how it feels.  But, I feel regretful for those times that I did act out – and my acting out pales by comparison to the acts of those who, here lately, have been engaged in some major acting out – this is world class disaster category acting out.  And it gives a bad name to a religion that really isn’t for that, any more than any other major world class religion.

    To me, it’s bad behavior, bad manners, and a lack of self-control –  this is because someone did not teach their kids how to manage anger properly.  If someone is raised by an angry person or angry people, then they will consider this to be normal.  This is a problem.  Are we becoming an endangered species?  There was that post last year…

    Anger moves to rage, and that rage is what makes people do unspeakable things.  I think that we need to think about it in these terms, because truly, all this blaming, doesn’t really give anyone a solution – and violence is not a part of the solution – it just creates more rage.

    Encourage others to take personal responsibility for their feelings – by taking personal responsibility of your feelings and don’t stuff them until they burn – calmly consider what they mean, and try to process them without killing people.  Please.  Take a deep breath…

  • what everybody needs – anger management

    what everybody needs – anger management

    A world gone mad – why?  Because there are a high number of angry people in the world who for one reason or the other have forgotten (if they ever knew) how to behave and how to control their anger.  I understand anger.  It isn’t as if I am saying “don’t be angry”.  It really is about getting the anger under control before it spills out and hurts people.  It is about taking personal responsibility for your shit, and not acting out at people just because you don’t like something.  You should have learned this as a child, but you didn’t or else you forgot.

    looming clouds
    looming clouds

    The headlines – mass shootings – domestic violence – Donald Trump’s popularity – all of these support the notion that anger management is needed.  Perhaps a spray in the air?  “Anger-Begone”.  Perhaps you have to attend anger management class before you get your drivers’ license or your next renewal – your passport – your insurance might require it – I mean, how many ways could we make certain that people have skills to control their anger?  There are lots of ways.  Classes in school – elementary through graduation – classes in college – why not?  Nothing else is working.  It shouldn’t interfere with everyone’s rights or freedom.  Who could argue that this would be at least something towards a solution for “the world gone mad” problem that we seem to have.

    If most people knew how to control their anger, and appropriately deal with it vs. shooting people or blowing stuff up, then it could solve a lot of problems in the world and the money being spent on that stuff could be used for something else.  Imagine.

    But this idea might get push-back from someone like Trump, whose whole platform is built around “anger” and using extreme solutions to solve anything or everything that sound like a six year old playing with blocks or locking the door of his room.  All those “angry people” are going to elect him to be King (uh, I mean POTUS, not KING) – King would be like Elvis, and he is not really here anymore, except the look-alike Elvis impersonators in Vegas… which is about the level of “universe” that planet Donald resides within.

    It’s pretty crazy around here – it’s a mad mad mad world….

  • the millennial mindset and me

    the millennial mindset and me

    I read blogs out there on the inter-universe, and articles, which are really blog pieces, and I think to myself – I just feel confused about where I fit.  But thankfully, a fellow-writer, Julia Bell, has this piece that tells us that it is actually important to think about your purpose, and accept yourself.

    Millennials the Consumer Majority.

    There is a lot of talk about Millennials these days, because they are at the heart of the labor force and consumer groups that are the focus of advertising and the media.  I go back to that generational part of my life when I was in my 30’s (phase into where they are moving or are), and think about the crazy parts, especially, and how, if I had to do that now, would I manage it – if differently, or not.

    #ThinkLikeAMillenial

    I’m not necessarily like some people “my age”.  I have these friends and neighbors and they are around “my age”, but let’s just say that we don’t always align on some pretty major things.  It’s like my feet are stuck in the mud of one time frame, and those people are pretty satisfied with moving on, getting into their senior years and all that comes with that.  Sometimes we relate on some things, like I said, and this yields some pretty interesting conversations, especially if adult beverages are involved…

    It’s hard to be “me”, without letting my feelings about certain things out of the bag, which immediately categorizes me it a lot of people’s minds, and there you go.

    What you must know is that I might not fit into the “boomer” mindset completely, maybe a little, but not anywhere near 50%, even.  Actually, I just measured.  I’m not even in the “Boomer” range on the scale.

    While people are “enjoying retirement”, I am doing “business development”.  I figure, just go until you are stopped… by something, other than yourself.

    If you are interested in seeing where you fit, take this survey and contribute to Pew Research:

    How Millennial Are You?    You see, I’m pretty much half way to being a Millennial!

    how millenial are youWhy is this important?

    Let’s take the targeted advertising, for instance.  People are trying to get you to buy stuff.  It may be pure crap.  But they look at how you surf the net, and Facebook, and LinkedIn, and every other social media site.  They probably monitor your phone calls, for all I know.  There is NO PRIVACY.  This has been a factoid for many years – likely well over 15.

    “They” may look at your chronological age and assess, “this person needs to be looking at bathtubs with doors, or those seat things that move you up stairs on some sort of pulley mechanism to get you to the top without you having to climb, or catheters, or comfortable shoes, or knee braces, or”  You get it, right?

    Every time one of these ads pops up onto my radar, I’m thinking, “Really?”  Why me?  Well, it’s because of these constantly churning information collecting/analytical info-bots, looking to enable people to sell to the right audience – but they can be wrong – but do they care?  Not really.  They try to refine based on what you actually do buy vs. what they thought you might buy, and so forth.

    If you want to wack them out a bit, when you are “retirement age”, sign up for a Seventeen Magazine subscription, WIRED, some news magazine (take your pick), and one other one that is discordant – it gets “them” confused.  It’s the Andy Rooney influence…

    Yet there can be advantages.

    When I turned 40, my Mom signed me up for AARP.  I still like AARP so that I can get the old-people discounts, plus they are lobbying for “us” – and they have a strong voice behind the effort.

    My Mom was not by any stretch of the imagination anything but smart.  She was an activist of sorts, and spoke her opinion (maybe a bit too much at times).  She got a little flaky in her last years on earth, but she was still intellectually top notch.  She, too, did not align with people her own age and had many younger friends.

    There is an urge that I have, sometimes, walking in stores, or wherever you’re in a crowd, to ask people, whose age I can’t guess, “Can you answer a simple question for me?  How old are you?”  I think that they’re likely to either to flip me off, or maybe lie, or they just might tell me the truth.  If I could correlate this with their picture, even better.  But, this is a delusional idea – probably, especially these days, people would give you “that look” (crazy lady alert!)… And just walk off…

    Predictable Outcomes?

    Just a few years ago, five to be exact, a notice went out to those attending my high-school reunion: “Those who need assistance to walk upstairs, please let us know such that we can get assistance for moving you in and out of the building, when you arrive and depart.”  Whoa.  These are people that would not even be 60 yet.  Geeze-Louise.

    And then, I thought about the prior 10-year reunion, and why they sent the message about disabilities out makes sense.  There was an interesting picture taken of the members of our class who attended.  A large percentage were in the extremely obese range of weight.  Yeah, I imagine that their joints are not holding up so well by now.

    So, I get on my treadmill, and tread.  Every day, if possible – or do something else to “feed the Fitbit”…  I don’t fight with it , I know that this has to happen.  I get out and “wog” on the trails, weather permitting, and I do what I can to stay as healthy as I can, because, God only knows, they sock it to the old people who get sick and take away all of their money, even their homes and such – but that is quite another story… they actually will do that to anybody, regardless of age.

    When I am facing questions related to my age: 

    Q:  What do I do about things like fashion?

    A:  Go comfy.  If it hurts, don’t wear it. This goes for clothes and shoes.  Absolutely NO stilettos.  Broken arches and ankles do not serve anyone very well.

    Q:  Glasses, what frames do I choose?  You see, I kind of feel like people prejudge me because of my glasses frames, and the thickness of the lenses, when I know full well that there are people who have worn thick lenses since they were in grade-school – so, why prejudge me for this?  It’s silly.

    A:  I wear those that enable me to see the best.  If there are big fat frames around my view, it is limiting my view.  Enough said.

    Q:  What about my hair?

    A:  No, I am NOT going to get that short haircut again that makes me look like any other middle-aged, stodgy aging woman that wears pantsuits with elastic waistbands made of polyester or rayon mu-mu’s, for that matter.  We start losing our curves and become “Weebles” (thank you Hasbro).

    weebles-webecomeTMI – Information – Dis-information – Re-Digested Opinions

    Information that looks like one thing that is actually another thing – appearance is not always reality.  Go with your gut.

    OK,  when I really think about this and it makes me a bit dizzy, I have to step back to a book called Gut that was written in 2006, by Karen Salamansohn, about using your intuition, that I purchased back then – after my first Myers-Briggs scoring.  My score was very high “N” – in fact it is within my four letter MB descriptor.  This score, subsequently, has been validated over and over by other tests that measure this.  I do have strong intuition.  Measured.  Felt.

    I have to listen to my gut, as imperfect as it is, as not listening to it has put me in a bad place more than once – you live, you learn.  If there is something not quite right sometimes, and it drives me crazy until I solve it.  That’s how “intuitive life” is.

    IMG_7867

    At any rate, I am still observing the culture – every day.  There is so much information, and with the way that I think and with my strong intuition, I can only conclude that taking the high ground is the safest way to keep from drowning.  It seems to work at a number of levels right now…