ellenspictures

Category: life stories

  • an eight-pound sledgehammer for Mother’s Day – who said that I’m typical?

    an eight-pound sledgehammer for Mother’s Day – who said that I’m typical?

    The call from my grandson started me out today – waking up suddenly, realizing that the phone was going off – but always, I love these FaceTime visits – just watching him, amazed at his rapid growth, and how fast he moves around – his saying “da-da-da-da-da” plus a thousand other sounds that are his baby babble – the baby language – understandable to themselves and other babies (my theory) – the cacophony of developing language within the baby human’s skill set at age 9 months… delightful!

    He has discovered cars and blocks, already playing with these little toy cars, knowing that they roll – his skills at doing this are not quite there yet, but he gets it – what they are going to do – and blocks – exploring every shape – picking them up, then delightedly throwing them down!  How wonderful to watch – I long to be there with him, but recognize that life is complicated for everyone and the daily routines consume everyone’s interests and priorities over seeing grandma who lives in another place at a distance.  Thank goodness for technology!

    My sweet husband cooked a beautiful brunch, and he plus our big fuzzy dog got me cards to open – we drank bubbly and enjoyed the time – making a plan for the rest of the afternoon, my husband suggested visiting my younger son’s resting place after grabbing a Starbucks coffee – the routine we do – I have done – since Rob passed on in 2005.  It does not really get easier, but it changes in character, this visiting.

    We took a tour of Wal-Mart and two big-box hardware stores in search of a big hammer (we ended up with an 8 pounder!) – and another steel plate, plus some alligator clips to mount onto some cable to mount onto a block which I can use to hold things while soldering or working on them – my husband is a clever craftsman and knows some tricks!

    I proudly told the check-out guy that my Mother’s Day gift was an eight-pound sledge hammer!  He looked at me and said something like “how sad!”  Well, I didn’t think it was sad… I wanted that big hammer for making my mixed media wearables – some aspects of which do require pounding!

    We met a young artist in the garden section who complimented my necklace – I told her I made these – and she asked about the constituents… We conversed, and when my husband asked her how much she would pay for one of those, she said, “I’m a bargain hunter.  I’d try to pay about $15-$20 bucks…”  OUCH!  The time and sweat that goes into these is probably worth about five times that; sad to see things so cheaply discounted because of wide availability over the Internet – it sounds like you have to really understand marketing online to be any measure successful in this – which I am not sure I really want to pursue.  But one day, I will have to move these out –

    Right now, I am building inventory – making gifts for friends, and also for potential showing – and learning new things – and it beats the heck out of working on the same things all the time!

    But back to Mother’s Day – I miss my Mom, and my Grandma Ellen – they were those people that my natural inclination was to honor and buy gifts and of course, they were those mothers in my life – then there were other mothers that had a lot of influence, too…  I can’t forget them… Too many to mention here…  I love you all.

    For now, Barbie, Caroline Howard, and my other mothers are those who come to my mind…  I’m just on that boat of looking out there on the sea of life – Today, I pay special tribute to my friend in Canada who recently lost her daughter – and is now even more of a mother to her grand-children than ever…  Bless her for her strength and courage…

  • life as it goes on, and sometimes it unravels…

    life as it goes on, and sometimes it unravels…

    Here lately, so much has been happening that it is difficult for us to know the extent to which it impacts us – we just have a lot of swirling thoughts and those that remind us of the past, of course, as life has a habit of digging up those and bringing them forward. 

    Our friends’ daughter was killed in an auto accident last week, and swiftly all the events of their lives were set out, on a different path.  Instantly, just like that.  It happens.  These are reminders that we are not in control here.  We only have glimpses that we call control, like my fingers on this keyboard.  Fleeting.

    We hold onto our forward course, but sometimes the course changes – and we are disrupted onto a new course of moving forward, just in a different direction.  Similar events from my past are re-lived in understanding and empathizing with my friends.  We share the road of the common experience.  Our minds adjust, as much as they can – but they are changed minds.  Human experience is that way.

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    She was a beautiful girl, but had challenges throughout her life.  Where she seemed to flourish the most was at the time she had her babies but still she seemed challenged to attain a solid happy spot in her life.  We will miss her and it goes to remind us how people touch our lives, no matter how distant they are, you do get pulled into the relationships once you meet them, watch them grow up, and become young adults…

  • I get these thoughts… and then…

    I get these thoughts… and then…

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    I had not visited in a while.  I thought I would just go out – it was a sunny day, late afternoon – I got a Frappuccino at Starbucks as I usually do, before the visit – you know – having a coffee beverage with him was a common mom-son event. 

    I would sometimes get the call or text – as I was wrapping up work – “Mom, can you go by Starbucks and get me a Venti Iced Coffee with three Splendas, puleeeeeze?!”  And how could I not? 

    He needed to be able to stay up and hang-out online with friends.  It was a good thing.  Those friends turned out to be some real friends, in person – who didn’t know him in person – but, nonetheless felt compelled to come pay respects.  I thought that this was something. 

    It’s been, now, nearly eleven years.  As this time of year approaches, I think of the months leading up to the events that turned the page for him.  The lighting is changing.  Soon it will be hot.  School coming into its last months.  Remembering the homebound teacher, and her realization that what I was telling them was entirely accurate – not just some excuse for a teenager who did not want to come to school.  Imagine that.

    I am certain that I will always think about the Starbucks visits – one place to go with a teenaged son where it’s “cool” and the conversation is surrounded by the smell of roasting and brewing coffee.  So, we can’t actually go to Starbucks – as I bring Starbucks to wander and talk with him, as I do.  This is the way it is.