Category: friends

  • a different paradigm…

    a different paradigm…

    New Year's Day 2015

    This year,  we attended a New Year’s Day party at the home of family friends in New Zealand.  This house could have been in the latest issue of Dwell or House Beautiful.  It was everything you could want – large rooms, freshly done – a back yard with a pool and separate changing areas – outdoor barbeque set-up – gorgeous landscaping and eating area shaded by a huge umbrella – with this new kitchen that opens out into the area – just perfect for entertaining…

    The host and hostess were cordially welcoming to us – and as we began to absorb into the party, we realized that we were in the minority of “non-smokers” – which as I now think back, struck me as surprising in today’s smoking banned environment – I suppose that it made me feel like I had made some erroneous assumptions about the world…  Yes, there are still, despite the information available to us about how bad smoking is for everyone and the planet, lots of smokers out there.  They have just been forced into closets, of sorts… some very flash, I might add.

    Likely, nicotine is the top addictive substance in the world, ever known to man, second only to food.  It is not like alcohol.  One cannot “just quit” without some pretty substantial physical and mental effects.

    Smoking is noxious, but the smoker, when smoking, does not behave offensively or kill people as a result (except insidiously over time, maybe, and of course, themselves, likely…over time).  It’s not like the smoker takes a puff or smokes several cigarettes and goes out and wrecks cars or some other thing that “addictive substance abusers” of other types might do…  I guess that is why it is such an insidious and horrible addiction – it isn’t obviously addicting.  You don’t really notice when a person need their “nicotine fix”, except when the person under observation, who has been starved of tobacco for several hours might get cranky or otherwise “crave” nicotine, but it’s not the same as other addictions…

    Anyway, I digress…

    The party was also “racing and gambling” themed, meaning, we were entered into a pool of $ by our family members, and we had an amount to use to “bet” on horses that were racing nearby and watch on TV as the races transpired.

    Well…this was interesting, especially for me, who tries to figure stuff out, being an analyst and hobbyist at social studies – observing the culture and people watching being two of my favorite things to do…

    First, I don’t usually gamble.  I really am shitty at playing games, mostly – except maybe Angry Birds or Solitaire… when I am bored, but effectively, I am not a gambler. 

    Let’s face it, my son and daughter in law got married in Vegas and I NEVER touched a slot machine the whole time we were there.  Why?  Well, one reason is because of the SMOKING. 

    Gambling and smoking go together like peanut butter and jelly.  Seems that there are zero “non-smoking” gambling establishments in Vegas.  Yep, they have these supposedly super systems for sucking out smoke and have areas of their casinos designated “non-smoking”, which I prefer to say are “roped off areas for second-hand  smokers” –  but these are more sections that sit right next to the smoking areas (the majority of the casino), so you still breathe in that second-hand smoke, and smell like an ashtray when you get back up to your room (yes, thank God, they have non-smoking rooms).

    But anyhow, the two go together.  And in my family, we have several gambler personalities (not in a really bad way) that love to play games and fritter away their hard-earned, while in Vegas, most being ex-smokers…

    Whatever.  Not my cup of tea.  All I can think about is work, fresh on my mind, and how hard it is to earn a dollar, and somehow it just takes all the fun out of it… 

    Damned if I didn’t digress again (sigh).

    At this party, I played along – after saying “no”, then getting talked into it by my husband.  And it did suck me in, to try to figure out the whole process and how people make decisions about what to bet, how to bet, the spread, and of course, it all happens so fast that you can’t really figure it out anyway, because I think that is by design for it to be so complex to make it difficult for the average Joe to understand it, right? 

    After all, there are people who are professionals at this – kind of a type of “financial analyst” except that they are trying to predict how an animal of some sort will behave against other animals of the same type while doing some sort of forward locomotion…  Then it gets into the animal’s past behavior, the upbringing, the trainers and the training, the animal “controller” (jockey in this case), and all sorts of predictive soft analytics, maybe a bit of hard analytics thrown in with statistical analysis and such… but anyway, this is quite an overwhelming quick-study, to say the least, when you are trying to play a game with the correct timing and such. 

    It was crazy and it was kind of fun, but of course we did not win, and we did observe that others did by orders of magnitude – likely because they had more practice.

    Everyone was very cordial, but in the end, the female contingent took off, and we were left with the “group of guys” who were more or less into it for the day… At that point, we departed and moved on out to spend the rest of the day doing whatever you do on New Year’s Day – think about resolutions, and reflect on the past year…

    But now here we are in 2015.  Another year coming at us.  We have already heard of the passing of another colleague, which sets the tone for realizing once again how transient and precious life is on this planet. It says to me that there are meaningful times that touch lives more than gambling it away. 

    I know I need to remember this always: Seize the moment and make it meaningful…you never know when your number is up.

  • Thanksgiving…

    Thanksgiving…

    No matter how hard your life is, or what has happened, it is a day that we say “thanks” for everything that we have that is good.  We celebrate with food, friends, sometimes family, and sometimes the family comes before friends (not in some of my extended family, in their case, mostly, the friends are more important).   So, we have people we know who need to be with others, together, to celebrate.

    When my grandmother was still around, and even my mom, it was a “default” to gather with family.  I think that this set of constructs seems to have faded.  I don’t even get invited about half the time by that side of my family.  Their priorities are different and involve friends, mainly – and first degree relatives – despite that we are by comparison, an extremely small family – just a handful of us left…  There is always something more important like a football game, or some other event…  the likes of this would make my grandmother roll-over in her grave, seriously, but then, she has been gone for many years… and I am sure that somewhere, as she fades back in memories, somehow, the importance  of family is brought forward… no thoughts as to how that plays out…  Usually, when someone gets sick or dies – well, even that isn’t really something that might sustain visiting or building stronger relationships – it is what it is.

    At our Thanksgiving celebrations of the past, when asked to say prayers, my Dad would always launch into a rambling prayer, truly from his heart… On one occasion, he asked my cousin, Susan, to say a prayer and she, being caught off-guard, and being a young teen, pretty much giggled herself into a mess – my Dad, picking back up the conversation with God to ask for continued grace, and moving us along to the meal.  On another occasion, it was at the Thanksgiving table that I bit into one of my Grandmother’s famous watermelon pickles and felt the first twinge of pain that signaled a case of mumps that I had to endure over the next few days – more like ten – when I was in first grade…

    And then, there was the Thanksgiving after Rob’s birth – just a few days following – with my post-partum perspective, just having given birth to a child who required immediate emergency surgery to repair a lethal birth defect, who lay in a Neo-natal intensive care unit forty-five minutes away from our house – it was hard to scrounge up “thanks” – but I did, at least, thank God for letting our baby at least have a chance at life – not knowing the rocky road ahead…

    At any rate, we try to keep traditions where we can, and make new ones where old ones seem to fade away.  It’s about distance, of time and relationships, and how we seem to live now — alienated, sometimes, as we go through our day to day lives… Our focus is more immediate.  We seem to be thankful when reminded about our gifts by hearing of some loss that others have suffered, or some travesty that someone we know is enduring at present – God’s little reminders, I guess…

    But each Thanksgiving, there will be the feast, and friends, and some family – and we will toast to our blessings… This is how it is… and how it will be…

    This year our Thanksgiving was good – with my remaining first degree family, and some good friends – and it was different, but we were thankful for our gifts – and the food on the table… and asked for grace for the future…

  • our friend, our great gift, moves on…farewell to the Father of GIS

    our friend, our great gift, moves on…farewell to the Father of GIS

    With great sadness, we learned today that Dr. Roger Tomlinson, our dear friend and amazing mentor, has moved on.  Knowing Roger has been a treasure and a gift from the heavens and humanity.  Spending time with him was so inspiring.  Much will change, but much will continue to go on because of his help and influence to so many people across the world.

    Roger is known as the Father of GIS.  This may not mean much to those who do not know the power of the amazing technology that he envisioned and turned into reality.  His method of focus on business problems, and using GIS to solve these was true innovation – he is the best business analyst that we have ever met…  The IT people of today do not understand that the gap he will leave will be wide…

    I am very sad that I will not be able to give him his annual little elephant… I will add it to his collection, and for whoever inherits this, they will have elephants from around the world…

    Roger, we will always love you – you will live on in our hearts and minds forever…