ellenspictures

Category: friends

  • Another one bites the dust… Maybe we really weren’t friends…

    Another one bites the dust… Maybe we really weren’t friends…

    In my life, friends have come and gone – some really have gone, but that’s another subject for another day…

    When you look back on your life, you reflect on your actions, the setting, and mostly, the people, at least I do that. Who was there…what we did…the memorable conversation… And what? It ended, we moved on or we maybe still have some semblance of a relationship. We can think back and go, “Oh, that was really a great time..” Sometimes we forget about most of the bad parts of our episodes in life, thinking that things were hunky-dory, then someone else who was there brings up that thing that wasn’t so hunky-dory – and so it goes – everyone has their own perspectives.

    And then, there are the aspects of aging and the memories (the old noggin hard drive is getting packed with them) – and the memory capabilities – apparently, from about 40, it goes downhill from there – yet many people have very good capabilities of retention of certain memories, and zilch for others – selective…

    Then there’s the replay that we cannot seem to control. Over and over it plays, keeping us up at night when the sleep robbers are most active…

    When I think of a twenty-plus year relationship, and then suddenly you realize that it wasn’t what you thought it was, it’s that Winnie-the-Pooh quote:

    ” When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

    It’s how it is when this happens… What your premise was, is not what the other person’s premise is and suddenly, you find out in a situation whereby you go, “Wow. Really?” Then you must process that, come to grips with it, like anything else, it’s a “change management” process that your mind must go through – your emotions included – to adjust. Here we go again.

    Then, there’s the ego threat – am I right, am I wrong, is it “no-fault”? Is there any peace? Yes. There might be some peace, but you have to work for it.

    Existential Thought of the Day: “If I just sit here and be quiet, will anyone call? Will anyone write? Will I just eventually disappear?”

  • Thanksgiving 2017

    Thanksgiving 2017

    I really do not want to dwell on the past year’s historic mindblowing state of affairs, nor do I want to dwell on the personal bombshells that have hit our family.   So, I won’t.

    Thanksgiving is about being thankful – grateful for what we do have.

    I have family.  For this, I am most grateful.  My husband, my son, my grandson, my uncle and aunt, my cousins – and my family in-laws, present and past, who are extremely wonderful and gracious to me.  For this is a beautiful thing and family is one gift of being human – especially if family relationships are good.

    I have relative health compared to some.  OK, aging does mean that you are still here on the planet, but it poses challenges as parts are wearing out on you, or becoming defective, you have to deal with it.  So, I can’t go on that run today, as I normally do – but, I am not bedridden, I can walk without assistance, I can climb stairs, and probably, if I went out right now and got on it, I could ride my bicycle.  Injuries are hopefully temporary.

    I made 2 pies and one dessert, yesterday, with an aging oven.  It was a challenge, but guess what?  We have pies and a dessert.  I hope that they are tasty.

    I did the baking without copious amounts of wine as I had to rely upon last year during our unfolding family crises.  It got worse before it began to stabilize.  I was proud that I did Christmas and steeled up in the storm, with all of the uncertainty.  I am certain that this took it’s toll on my mental health and potentially, on my physical health.

    This year, I am grateful that things began to stabilize, last spring, but we are not ever going to be back where we were.  Forever changed by one person, never anticipated, it is how life is to have these unexpected turns.

    Turkey and trimmings.  Friends.  Fellowship.  The good weather we are now having after the crazy weather we suffered at the turn of the seasons… Knowing that holidays are difficult for some large number of people this year due to that crazy weather, we pray for their recoveries – each of them.  We pray for the state of the world, as it is in peril right now.  We pray for stability.  We pray for healing.  We pray for the lonely and those who are alone today.  We pray for hope.  We pray for a future for my grandson that will not prove difficult for him to live a good life.

    Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for what we have and it is for praying for the future of the world that includes everyone and everything in it.  Peace be with the world.

     

  • life as it goes on, and sometimes it unravels…

    life as it goes on, and sometimes it unravels…

    Here lately, so much has been happening that it is difficult for us to know the extent to which it impacts us – we just have a lot of swirling thoughts and those that remind us of the past, of course, as life has a habit of digging up those and bringing them forward. 

    Our friends’ daughter was killed in an auto accident last week, and swiftly all the events of their lives were set out, on a different path.  Instantly, just like that.  It happens.  These are reminders that we are not in control here.  We only have glimpses that we call control, like my fingers on this keyboard.  Fleeting.

    We hold onto our forward course, but sometimes the course changes – and we are disrupted onto a new course of moving forward, just in a different direction.  Similar events from my past are re-lived in understanding and empathizing with my friends.  We share the road of the common experience.  Our minds adjust, as much as they can – but they are changed minds.  Human experience is that way.

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    She was a beautiful girl, but had challenges throughout her life.  Where she seemed to flourish the most was at the time she had her babies but still she seemed challenged to attain a solid happy spot in her life.  We will miss her and it goes to remind us how people touch our lives, no matter how distant they are, you do get pulled into the relationships once you meet them, watch them grow up, and become young adults…