It’s been happening lately, and it will happen more unless they are stopped.  That’s right.  Clowns.  Clown sightings on the East Coast of the United States have police miffed, and now Stephen King, author of the famous evil clown book, It, has now acknowledged that he is fearful that this is happening.

It makes you scratch your head, always – what do they want?  Nothing good, I can tell you, that’s for sure.  If they were honest and not creepy, then they would not paint their faces and wear clown suits.  They would just be regular people with regular clothes.  But no, they have to dress up in disguise.  I’m telling you, they are up to something.  They are just like the squirrels.  They might be related.  Ask Lucy.

I’m telling you.  Seriously.  It may start with a few clown sightings, but if they cannot get this under control, we could have a big problem.  Be alert.  Be wary.

Carry something that you can use to distract them in case of encounter.  Never speak directly to them.  And by all means, NEVER make eye-contact.  Run like hell!  Far far away, as fast as you can, get away, into the light of day and scream for help and for someone to catch them!  Get them into the shower and take off that dreadful make-up.  If it does not come off, then… well, I’m not sure what that means…if it doesn’t come off.

This has me truly worried.  Clowns.  Sends a chill up my spine… and, oh, I TOLD YOU SO.