ellenspictures

Category: Generations

  • it’s coming on Christmas…

    it’s coming on Christmas…

    Admittedly, this is a different holiday season in many ways, this year, but most acutely, within my family we will be adjusting to spending our holiday with fewer people this year than last, and praying for the healing of the broken links that are causing this.  Links are connections that when one is broken, many are affected.

    The hardest adjustment is “re-framing” our situation when this happens – the instability caused, takes a while to re-stabilize to the new normal, whatever that is to be, and our very human emotions are affected forevermore, so more work must be done to contain the reactions and resulting instability that those create, as well.

    We hear the term “chain reaction” — our chain may not be linear, but may be more like a net of chain links.

    I remember hearing my parents talk about this or that relative who they had difficulty being around because of some unfortunate situation that occurred in the past, that caused hurt feelings where the scars were too great to completely heal.  The more major the hurt, the bigger the scars and the damage done.  Time factor comes in and sometimes it helps dissipate the hurt, and dilute the ill feelings, but sometimes it does not help in that way.

    Troubleshooting circumstances like this that happen ahead of or during the holidays can be especially difficult, can cause much confusion, and if there is perceived loss or potential loss, the losses of the past are dragged up out of the coffins in our memory bank, like Dracula in the darkness, coming out to demand that “deep inner work” be done, once again – to resettle the grief, and attempt to heal and recover back to a more normal state.

    The human condition involves loss and grieving.

    We are wired to feel loss and grief, but we are not given a handbook on how to do the healing in the best way possible – someone forgot to pack that in our backpack when we were born – oh – right – we are not given a backpack, just the capabilities to develop as we mature — and some of us are not given the best sets of tools, or there are things that happen that cause the tools to be broken or rusty when we pull them out to use them.

    I always ask God to advise me on these occasions.  Sometimes I listen and do not hear back.  Sometimes the message comes in an unexpected form.  In fact, usually, that is the case.  I am waiting right now.  Just saying.

    Joni Mitchell is great at articulating how wistful the holidays can be in her song “River” when she discusses how broken relationships affect the time.

    In our case, I am praying hard for guidance in troubled times.  I am praying for healing, and for recovery — and I am praying for Peace…  It’s a different holiday season this year.  I am observing it.  I am trying to re-frame for this year in order to survive through the time with some holiday spirit.

  • my problem and how I solved it…

    my problem and how I solved it…

    the title of this post is from an old column that used to run in The Readers Digest magazine.  It used to tell about how someone had a really tough life problem and how they got the problem, then how they solved it – or how things got better.  there were other columns that ran, and I used to read these sitting in the laundromat, waiting for my clothes to dry, especially.  must have been that people dumped off their old magazines at the laundromat, and that was a good thing for those of us who sat for hours and did the laundry once a week – not being able to afford a washer and dryer where they lived – students, young workers, and who knows who else.  it’s where we were and how we did things like this.

    yeah, my college and young career life was like that.  day by day, work my way up – had to earn every bit of it, no question in my mind – it was how it was done, back then.  still is, truth be told.

    we talked to some students about careers today.  I think that what is most interesting at the end of the talks these days is the noticeable lack of questions.  here is the opportunity to be proactive, and few take advantage.  about three to be exact.  some just listened and watched, and I wondered what they were thinking.  I tried to make eye contact with everyone of the students who attended.

    it is an interesting thing as you get older in your career, how you think about your early career and how differently people approach careers these days compared to that. we did not have “mobile devices” and we did not have “instant everything”, but, regardless of changes, today is much the same —  it is still a world of work, where you must figure out where the little door is to get on the train, and begin that career journey – kind of like Harry Potter at the train station… I love that part of the movie – the first one – where they are looking for their train stop.

    likely some of the people were “sheerly” terrified today, listening about the “insights” that we were trying to give them, probably thinking “yikes, I screwed up – it is the eleventh hour and I haven’t done what they said.”  well, it’s never too late.

    thinking of starting miz magic’s mentoring site for people who really want to get a job, want to work once they get there, don’t mind working, and don’t feel like the job and all that comes with should be “handed to them on a silver platter. voila, where’s the orange sauce?”  more it might be “get that damned thing out of your hand, stop staring at it, stop texting, and pay attention!”  or, “you want a manager job and you’ve only been here two years?  fuggeduboudit – you will need to work your ass off, just like I did and my boss did and yes, you might have to do some boring shit, but guess what?  we all have had to do boring stuff, sometimes for years, but that is how we learned about real work.  sorry, movies are fiction.  and no, you can’t bring rover to work with you and no, there is not a keg in the break room fridge…”  “get over it, get a cup of coffee and get to it!”

    career development advice.  never stop learning, get used to learning from failure, and do the hard boring stuff, it builds character.  ’nuff said.

  • the randomness of it all stream of consciousness

    the randomness of it all stream of consciousness

    good morning sunshine.  as i sit here today, it’s november 8th.  it is election day in the us.  the oracle has warned us.  we wait.  we have the predictions of the outcomes.

    we watched the tiny town of dixville notch in new hampshire, live on television, have their first live voting just after midnight in the tiny town in the tiny state.  we watched them count votes and post the results on a whiteboard.  there was one write-in for romney.  hillary won that town.  trump got two votes.  no one would admit to voting for trump for fear of embarrassment.

    i am, like roughly half of the people in the usa, a democrat.  apparently, i am a “moderate”.  that makes sense, as the extreme left of the liberal scale makes me squeamish in some ways but, the extreme right of the republicans scares the shit out of me.  this year, that extreme right is jumping out of the bounds of the republican party.  even they say so mostly in private, but some in public.  the left of the democrats are not that bad.  to me, the lake is getting ready to turn over, like after the civil war (hopefully, the only one we will have), the republicans became democrats and the democrats became republicans.  that does your head in.  my grandma told me stories about this.  my family mostly are democrats.  my grandparents were republicans, my dad was, too, but my mom was a democrat in the later years like her brother, and my cousins.

    this will be another election day.  how many for me?  let’s see. twelve it is, counting this one.  my first was voting against nixon in 1972, who i sensed was quite evil.  nixon won.  it was sad.  the results of his election were that his criminal behavior forced him to resign.  i was right.

    the next election was in 1976.  due to that bad boy nixon’s escapades, he had resigned and ford was running against carter.  i voted for carter.  he won.  carter was actually the wisest president that has ever held office, since obama, who actually is the wisest so far – but the forces of the republican party were against him and disgraced him.  interesting that he is a go-to guy these days on perspectives about world affairs.

    the next election was in 1980.  that was reagan beating the socks off of carter.  everyone loved reagan for some reason.  i didn’t.  i didn’t like his hair or his shoes.  bad hair is a bad sign.  it turns out to be true every time in politicians.  but people loved him like he was some sort of santa claus.  go figure.  i just thought he was a washed up hollywood actor.  oh well. he was in for eight years.  fading towards the last of it, he was starting to stumble.

    next was the year that bush senior won the presidency in 1988.  the next one in 1992 people were a bit freaked out by what happened under bush.  bill clinton came into office and stayed eight years – it was mixed but good for the economy – he just did not always exhibit presidential behavior – his johnson got him into trouble which i consider a personality defect.

    then came little bush.  oh my god.  the country changed as his presidency ended up dashing the economy, taking us into a war waged based on pretense, and it introduced the beginning of a marketing machine that has not stopped.  obama inherited the mess left by eight years of bush, and the audacity of the republican propaganda machine was to blame him for it!  unbelievable.  this is when the double-speak really mushroomed.

    now we have the trump vs. hillary and the incredible and outlandish behavior exhibited and licensed by trump has taken hold.  in looking at past elections, it is interesting to see how relatively close they were in certain circumstances and how certain states have more pull due to the electoral college – which makes me wonder – is it really a good thing?  i always wonder about this at this stage of the game.

    now we pray that the whole system works well.  if hillary is in, then we likely will not see drastic changes; but if trump is in – this is when we will really put the system to the test – how to deal with a president who has erratic behavior, who says one thing, then says he didn’t say it, who angrily lashes out at whole groups of people that he loved the day before, and will not be transparent about anything (even though he says he is).  what we do know is that he is a philandering, adulterer, who brags about it (at least the past ones tried to keep out of the public eye)… who allows people at his events to threaten to do illegal things (like hack, kill, or other acts of violence), and by not discouraging it, he condones the behaviors.  He unleashes the hatred, the prejudice, and the qualities that people have tried to make against the law to show in public over years of social reform.  He takes us back – he says he wants to make us great again – I don’t like his definition of great.

    now we pray.
    God help us all.  Please.