even getting people’s heads around it is an adventure.
we have only to be able to exercise our brains. it is all about imagination and problem solving, really. we are much about that as humans. constantly needing to imagine and solve.
at age 5, it was all about imagining being a fairy princess. it gets complex, doesn’t it?
How many times have I done this? Answer = 61. Wow. That is a lot of cycles, but guess what! There are people out there that have done more cycles than I have… plenty.
Every year we get new stuff. New time coming at us. New events. New something to look forward to doing or seeing. Or hearing. Or experiencing. Or worrying about. Oh gosh, don’t go down that rat hole…
This year was different in many ways. First, I returned after having spent more time away from my home-base contiguously than I ever have in my life. That was an interesting process of adaptation and adoption. I don’t think I ever really got used to it, which points out that my barometer for change is probably less than optimal.
I tried to settle, but then something else would change. We had a lot of stuff. This did not make it easy. Not knowing what the environment would be like – and knowing that we would be stopping off in colder climes, I brought what I thought might work, but as it turns out, I probably could have done with jeans, shorts, tees, tanks, sandals, fishing clothes, walking shoes, and gear — and maybe a couple of summery dress up items…
It was about our family trying to make us feel like we had a home, but then there were aspects that made me feel like we really had boundaries that could not make this happen. That ol’ “interfering” or “being in the way” subtle messaging that often emerges in awhile, after you have been there, and your edges begin to encroach on other people’s edges. No matter what you do, there isn’t that total integration that happens. My grandfather, and then my dad, told me something one time that is as true today, as it ever was: “like fish – you stay around too long and you get stinky” meaning, if you overstay you become bad company. Despite people insisting that this is not the case, the human tendencies creep through eventually. Good ol’ human nature – we are what we are.
Let’s say that all in all we had a great time. We are indebted and forever grateful for our family’s enabling us to have a home base for as long as we needed, and for their great patience applied to having us there as long as we did not get too stinky – and if we didn’t smell like fish, at least we caught enough to keep everyone fed! Thank you dear ones for your kindness, love, generosity and hospitality!
Love, -Ellen
This year, we attended a New Year’s Day party at the home of family friends in New Zealand. This house could have been in the latest issue of Dwell or House Beautiful. It was everything you could want – large rooms, freshly done – a back yard with a pool and separate changing areas – outdoor barbeque set-up – gorgeous landscaping and eating area shaded by a huge umbrella – with this new kitchen that opens out into the area – just perfect for entertaining…
The host and hostess were cordially welcoming to us – and as we began to absorb into the party, we realized that we were in the minority of “non-smokers” – which as I now think back, struck me as surprising in today’s smoking banned environment – I suppose that it made me feel like I had made some erroneous assumptions about the world… Yes, there are still, despite the information available to us about how bad smoking is for everyone and the planet, lots of smokers out there. They have just been forced into closets, of sorts… some very flash, I might add.
Likely, nicotine is the top addictive substance in the world, ever known to man, second only to food. It is not like alcohol. One cannot “just quit” without some pretty substantial physical and mental effects.
Smoking is noxious, but the smoker, when smoking, does not behave offensively or kill people as a result (except insidiously over time, maybe, and of course, themselves, likely…over time). It’s not like the smoker takes a puff or smokes several cigarettes and goes out and wrecks cars or some other thing that “addictive substance abusers” of other types might do… I guess that is why it is such an insidious and horrible addiction – it isn’t obviously addicting. You don’t really notice when a person need their “nicotine fix”, except when the person under observation, who has been starved of tobacco for several hours might get cranky or otherwise “crave” nicotine, but it’s not the same as other addictions…
Anyway, I digress…
The party was also “racing and gambling” themed, meaning, we were entered into a pool of $ by our family members, and we had an amount to use to “bet” on horses that were racing nearby and watch on TV as the races transpired.
Well…this was interesting, especially for me, who tries to figure stuff out, being an analyst and hobbyist at social studies – observing the culture and people watching being two of my favorite things to do…
First, I don’t usually gamble. I really am shitty at playing games, mostly – except maybe Angry Birds or Solitaire… when I am bored, but effectively, I am not a gambler.
Let’s face it, my son and daughter in law got married in Vegas and I NEVER touched a slot machine the whole time we were there. Why? Well, one reason is because of the SMOKING.
Gambling and smoking go together like peanut butter and jelly. Seems that there are zero “non-smoking” gambling establishments in Vegas. Yep, they have these supposedly super systems for sucking out smoke and have areas of their casinos designated “non-smoking”, which I prefer to say are “roped off areas for second-hand smokers” – but these are more sections that sit right next to the smoking areas (the majority of the casino), so you still breathe in that second-hand smoke, and smell like an ashtray when you get back up to your room (yes, thank God, they have non-smoking rooms).
But anyhow, the two go together. And in my family, we have several gambler personalities (not in a really bad way) that love to play games and fritter away their hard-earned, while in Vegas, most being ex-smokers…
Whatever. Not my cup of tea. All I can think about is work, fresh on my mind, and how hard it is to earn a dollar, and somehow it just takes all the fun out of it…
Damned if I didn’t digress again (sigh).
At this party, I played along – after saying “no”, then getting talked into it by my husband. And it did suck me in, to try to figure out the whole process and how people make decisions about what to bet, how to bet, the spread, and of course, it all happens so fast that you can’t really figure it out anyway, because I think that is by design for it to be so complex to make it difficult for the average Joe to understand it, right?
After all, there are people who are professionals at this – kind of a type of “financial analyst” except that they are trying to predict how an animal of some sort will behave against other animals of the same type while doing some sort of forward locomotion… Then it gets into the animal’s past behavior, the upbringing, the trainers and the training, the animal “controller” (jockey in this case), and all sorts of predictive soft analytics, maybe a bit of hard analytics thrown in with statistical analysis and such… but anyway, this is quite an overwhelming quick-study, to say the least, when you are trying to play a game with the correct timing and such.
It was crazy and it was kind of fun, but of course we did not win, and we did observe that others did by orders of magnitude – likely because they had more practice.
Everyone was very cordial, but in the end, the female contingent took off, and we were left with the “group of guys” who were more or less into it for the day… At that point, we departed and moved on out to spend the rest of the day doing whatever you do on New Year’s Day – think about resolutions, and reflect on the past year…
But now here we are in 2015. Another year coming at us. We have already heard of the passing of another colleague, which sets the tone for realizing once again how transient and precious life is on this planet. It says to me that there are meaningful times that touch lives more than gambling it away.
I know I need to remember this always: Seize the moment and make it meaningful…you never know when your number is up.
