ellenspictures

Author: Hope Never Vanishes

  • earth to God. we have a big problem here. save our children. save us. save our planet.

    earth to God. we have a big problem here. save our children. save us. save our planet.

    I think of the children separated from their parents – how horrifying for all of them – and do these people who invoke these rules and actions read history or is it that they think that this is all okay – the cruelty of it all.  Why?

    It is hard to not speak out about what is going on and about current events of the recent past.

    As I sit here, trying to work, my mind also wanders to Santa Fe, Texas.  Weeks later.  Now into the summer months…  Those parents of lost children and the students affected – how do those people cope?  This event was a life changer.  Never again the same…  Everyone, affected or not directly – most feel something.  If they don’t, there is something terribly wrong.  Obviously there is – something terribly wrong.

    Then, I think of the recent events in New Jersey. I shudder and fear the next headline.  I fear it could be here – or anywhere…  It is no longer terrorists from abroad – it’s now becoming the symptom of a very sick nation – boys with guns – angry boys – delusional boys – grown up babies parents who have lost control of their kids’ upbringing somehow – enabling them to become estranged and mentally ill.

    This is the stuff of science fiction, but it is real.  It is a nightmare, but we are all awake.

    I know that “who is in charge” doesn’t care about our children, let alone most of our adult inhabitants.  ?

    I wonder.  Is it that there is a wiring issue in their brains?  How can they possibly think that this is right?  Not today.  Not now.  Not ever.

    It seems that there is no one to help.  The “leadership” are themselves delusional, and misdirected.  They are acting without a moral compass.  The “leadership” is killing off any goodwill that was held in the past.  It is like that word is not in their vocabulary.  The words “hell bent” come to mind – or perhaps, “hell bound”.

    I pray every day for this situation to correct itself – or for some intervention from the great beyond – from the Hand of God…  If and when that happens, as usual, it is not what we expect – in form or fashion. 9-11 united us, but it also split us apart in many ways.  Corruption is a terrible thing.  Seven sins.

    We as individuals can speak out and we can vote, if we are allowed – but even that is questionable in some states these days – But when those in charge don’t want to listen, we are powerless to exercise our rights – our rights are disappearing into some sort of void.

    My forefathers are rolling over in their graves (or urns).  This is not America anymore – not the one of which they dreamed….

  • compelled to write…

    compelled to write…

    Putting up the holiday decorations…

    Each year, this is frankly my least favorite activity.  But, I am compelled to get this done before my birthday, before I find myself well into January, looking at this chore.  It will make me feel better to get all of this completed!

    A mixmaster of memories – good, bad, traumatic, joyful, sad, happy, bittersweet – each ornament seemingly drives something from my inventory of emotions – something that might be perilous but also might bring lots of thoughts about funny and happy times – by this time, however, it’s decades over decades of these, overlain onto one another –

    Some of these ornaments are very old – depression era – even older than that – and I worry about being the guardian of these – for future generations – does anyone care these days?

    My older relatives, not that there are that many left, have not exactly held that feeling of importance, about keeping the antiquities – they have downsized efficiently over the last few years – thinking that ten years ago, they were just a little older than I am now, and they were downsizing then – and yes, I know it is time to downsize – clean up – pare down – sort, slice, dice, and whatever it takes to keep people from having to do the work that we are doing to “get rid of shit” that we really do not care that much about, or we do, but one or the other of us finds that the accumulation is annoying and it causes issues beyond just having the stuff occupy space.

    In consideration of all that, I likely need to think about this when I am “accumulating” – i.e., stop – and begin the progression of paring down activities – not unlike recycling, it is conscious effort to take up the habit of doing so.

    Here We Are In The Years.  Neil Young said in his song, years ago – “Now that the holidays have come – They can relax and watch the sun – Rise above all of the beautiful things they’ve done… Time itself is bought and sold – The spreading fear of growing old – Contains a thousand foolish games that we play – While people planning trips to stars – Allow another boulevard to claim a quiet country lane – It’s insane”  From October 2, 1968.

    Yes, it is.  Each year, it seems that these words ring true even more than the year before.  Holidays or no, soon I will be marking another trip around the sun, one more time.

    My quest?  Find more joy in the world – how can we do that?  It’s an edgy place.  Thinking of taking down my Facebook account.  Saving all the data.  Starting all over.  It’s an idea.  Not thinking that the experiment has worked out so well…

  • Thanksgiving 2017

    Thanksgiving 2017

    I really do not want to dwell on the past year’s historic mindblowing state of affairs, nor do I want to dwell on the personal bombshells that have hit our family.   So, I won’t.

    Thanksgiving is about being thankful – grateful for what we do have.

    I have family.  For this, I am most grateful.  My husband, my son, my grandson, my uncle and aunt, my cousins – and my family in-laws, present and past, who are extremely wonderful and gracious to me.  For this is a beautiful thing and family is one gift of being human – especially if family relationships are good.

    I have relative health compared to some.  OK, aging does mean that you are still here on the planet, but it poses challenges as parts are wearing out on you, or becoming defective, you have to deal with it.  So, I can’t go on that run today, as I normally do – but, I am not bedridden, I can walk without assistance, I can climb stairs, and probably, if I went out right now and got on it, I could ride my bicycle.  Injuries are hopefully temporary.

    I made 2 pies and one dessert, yesterday, with an aging oven.  It was a challenge, but guess what?  We have pies and a dessert.  I hope that they are tasty.

    I did the baking without copious amounts of wine as I had to rely upon last year during our unfolding family crises.  It got worse before it began to stabilize.  I was proud that I did Christmas and steeled up in the storm, with all of the uncertainty.  I am certain that this took it’s toll on my mental health and potentially, on my physical health.

    This year, I am grateful that things began to stabilize, last spring, but we are not ever going to be back where we were.  Forever changed by one person, never anticipated, it is how life is to have these unexpected turns.

    Turkey and trimmings.  Friends.  Fellowship.  The good weather we are now having after the crazy weather we suffered at the turn of the seasons… Knowing that holidays are difficult for some large number of people this year due to that crazy weather, we pray for their recoveries – each of them.  We pray for the state of the world, as it is in peril right now.  We pray for stability.  We pray for healing.  We pray for the lonely and those who are alone today.  We pray for hope.  We pray for a future for my grandson that will not prove difficult for him to live a good life.

    Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for what we have and it is for praying for the future of the world that includes everyone and everything in it.  Peace be with the world.